The illusion of success

January 20th, 2012

A friend and I used to shoot models together. It was one of my very first shoots with a model when I saw another photographer wrapping up a shoot with a couple who were clearly getting their engagements done.

We were in an alley and I watched her pull out her business card and hand it to them. I watched and listened, eager to learn some trade secrets, how she talked to them, what she wore. It was the other photographer’s turn with the model so I left them and sauntered over to the “pro” to chat with her, to pick her brain a bit.

I’m sure I sounded like an idiot, because I remember the look she gave me… like I was an idiot. But still, I asked questions and listened. She put her stuff in her car as she spoke to me, clearly feeling a bit sorry for me and eager to help me in any way she could. I was that girl. I was pathetic and she knew it. I was one of those photographers that I’d been reading about, the kind that are threatening the livelihood of the real artists, the ones that are actually getting paid.

She said something to me that changed the way I wanted to proceed with photography… with my blog.

She told me to appear as though I’m always busy. To shoot anyone and post it on my website. She alluded that the appearance of success would garner business.

She then handed me her business card with a smile and told me that if I ever needed any more advice to please contact her. I was touched by her willingness to take pity on me. To help me.

But when I got home and pulled up her website I knew that unless I worked really hard to constantly be better I wouldn’t be, regardless of what illusion I was displaying on my little piece of internet real estate; I knew the truth. She was good. She was really, really good. And I knew that business must have been going well for her, that there must have been some truth to her advice if she was shooting as often as she was. With real people. Not models, like me.

I couldn’t do it. That wasn’t the way I wanted to run my business. I was not in the business of deceiving. After that, I got into the business of learning, of being better than I was yesterday. Of finding the true meaning of success. I wanted to shoot and to display my work for me, so that I could look back and see how far I’d come. I wanted to be able to go back to day 1 and read through my embarrassing moments, no matter how lame I was.

Maybe she was right, though. Maybe this is why I am not as busy as I’d like to be. Maybe if I had pretended to be more successful than I actually was, I would (now) be more successful. Maybe I would be a real photographer if I had taken her advice.

Thing is, I would rather be a hobbyist who is real than a professional who is alluding to success. I would feel worse knowing that I was a phony. (Even though I still feel like I’m faking it most of the time.)

I make no bones about it, there are plenty of photographers who are better than me and if you want a solid recommendation for one I’ve got a few names for you. But if you’re looking for someone to be friends with, someone who truly cares about you and takes you on because I WANT TO, to fix your hair when it gets in the way…

If you’re looking for someone who works really hard, then you should contact me.

There are plenty of photographers who are better than me. But I swear, I’m more fun. ;)

Hope your Friday is short and sweet. Cheers!