The truth.

January 13th, 2012

You know those conversations you have with someone where you’re kinda on the fence about something and then you get asked an unexpected question and your response is a gibberish mess that sounds more like you’re trying to convince yourself of something instead of just answering a simple question? Hate that. Run-on sentences and all.

Question was, “Does photography keep you busy?”

Answer should have been, “No.” Simple.

Instead though what I had to do was justify this.

Truth is that no, photography is not keeping me as busy as I would like. Would I love to be a full-timer and get 10 inquiries a day? Yes and no! I mean, no doubt it would be a giant boost to my ego. But honestly, unless you’re someone completely established and a photolebrity, this is unlikely. It’s very easy to appear to be more successful than you actually are.

I’m not here to fake the funk. I had a shoot early last year that went horribly, terribly, very, very, very wrong. It rocked my confidence and it kinda killed a little bit of my spirit. And maybe one day I’ll write about it, because like I said I’m not here to fake the funk. But I’m just not ready yet. After that and feeling like a tag-along with a few of my peers I decided to put the camera down for a bit and not pursue photography professionally anymore. I struggled with writing, and when I got 5 (!) inquiries last year that amazingly enough all turned into conversions, I knew I was doing something right.

The truth is this, I don’t need 10 inquiries a day to keep me happy. I need 5 a year to keep me completely, and utterly, ecstatic. I’m totally ok with everyone knowing just how busy I am, professionally. Not very. And it took me a long while with being ok with being a serious hobbyist who does portraits on the side. It takes more than just getting paid to be a professional, but that’s a different topic.

I’m good at it. I have some areas that I’m better at than others, but overall I’m good. And no, not everybody is a good fit for me just as I’m not a good fit for everybody. And while an ego boost every now and then would be great, it’s so not necessary as long as you believe in what YOU are doing. That you do things the way YOU think it should be done, regardless of what anyone else might say.

How busy would I like to be? About 1 shoot a month. I know, I’m so crazy!

So, what you can expect to see of me this year is a lot of project photography and maybe 6 (!) sessions. I may sound lame, but if you think I’m lame then you should close your browser and look the other way. Because I will still be here twirling my lame-o batons in my own freak parade.

Cheers.

(This post was inspired by this post. You should read it.)

4 Comments Like this post? Share it on twitter or facebook

  1. Anita Boeira

    I love photography more than anything in the world, but I can’t even think about doing it professionally. I not only lack confidence (and time), but I love it so much, I don’t want to taint it. It’s my hobby, my favorite one, the one I spent so much time thinking and planning, and so much money on new equipment. But then, I also don’t feel obligated to spend TOO much money or TOO much time since it’s a hobby. Photography is such a time consuming hobby or job, and most people don’t understand it or value it as that. I like your idea of doing one shoot a month and then really get into it. Then, I feel, it becomes more art than a hobby or a job. :)

    January 13, 2012 at 9:45 am #  

  2. belinda olsen

    Nice post! I love your honesty and down to earthism. I loved reading that post yesterday too!

    January 13, 2012 at 9:52 am #  

  3. janey

    The line between hobby and profession (especially in photography) can blur a bit; it’s such an easy line to cross. I think one of the hardest things to do sometimes is to choose whether to cross that line. For me, crossing that line has made me love photography so much more. And one of the things that I used to struggle with was turning into a gear head. A person is a professional despite the equipment they own. Having all the things does not make you more of a professional.

    Valuing photography begins with valuing your own work, how else would you expect someone to value what you do? There’s a lot here, and you bring up good points. But yes, limiting shoots does keep me from becoming jaded and makes it easy to continue to love what I do. :)

    January 13, 2012 at 10:26 am #  

  4. janey

    Thanks Belinda! :) You made my day.

    She stirred something in all of us, whether we be hobbyists or professionals. Makes you think about your situation. :)

    January 13, 2012 at 10:28 am #  

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